The Random Bolt merged onto the internet this week! And we didn't break anything or confuse life by using turn signals. Reason number 42 to party!

This week we introduced Arthur and Bernice in their plight of cruise control, understood "Clifford the Big Red Focus" runs better with vanilla-scented air fresheners, and scientifically proved weight reduction improves quarter mile times. If you thought that was everything, think again!

Gas Pedal Admits It Feels “Entirely Unused” Since Owner Discovered Cruise Control
In a heartbreaking development from inside a 2022 Honda Civic, local gas pedal Arthur (he/him) reported today that he has never felt more isolated, redundant, or emotionally detached from the sole of his driver’s shoe.
It’s Not a 2011 Hatchback, It’s ‘The Thunder God’: Why Naming Your Car Is Pure Survival
To drive a machine without conferring a formal name upon it is an act of breathtaking hubris. Society likes to pretend we live in a post-superstition era governed by rational engineering and routine oil changes, yet every morning millions of sensible adults step onto their driveways, pat a dented
Behind the Headlines: Why Everything You Just Read Is Entirely Fake
If a story you read today seemed a little too wild to be true, your instincts were spot on. Every single article, breaking update, and dramatic report featured on this site is 100% made up. Welcome to the world of satirical news. What Is Going on Here? In an internet
Local Mechanic Discovers “Bonus Bolt” After 1972 Cutlass Engine Swap; Declares Car Now “Lighter, Faster”
Hugo, CO — Local DIY enthusiast and weekend grease monkey John Jacobson successfully finished swapping the 350 V8 engine in his prized 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme late Sunday evening. However, the triumph was slightly overshadowed by a mysterious, 1/2 inch Grade 8 bolt sitting quietly in the center of his drip pan.
Tool of Misunderstood Genius: Local Vintage Spark Plug Extension Demands Respect
Greenville, SC — Tucked away in the bottom drawer of an oil-stained Craftsman toolbox, resting beneath a tangle of zip ties and a half-empty roll of duct tape, sits a 13/16-inch vintage spark plug extension. It has a heavy, cold-forged steel body, a patina earned over

Random Bolt Logo White Embroidery Black Dad Hat

Dad hats aren't just for dads. This one's got a low profile with an adjustable strap and curved visor.

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