News

Yesteryear

On-Board Diagnostics: The Dashboard That Tells You What’s Wrong

Detroit, MI — In a stunning announcement that has sent shockwaves through the classic car community, automotive historians have confirmed that the introduction

By Bernice the Brake Pedal · Nov 5, 2026

News

Ferrari 308 GTS Ready to Step Out with Fervor on National Love Your Red Hair Day

Palm Beach, FL — A prominent 1984 Ferrari 308 GTS, known on the street and to its therapist as 'Jessica,' has

By Eddie Torr · Nov 5, 2026

News

Minivan Traumatized by Adult ‘Date Night’ Activity in Empty Cabin

Miami Springs, FL — Neighbors are reporting that a 2019 silver Honda Odyssey minivan, known as "The Soccer Vessel," is in

By Arthur the Gas Pedal · Nov 4, 2026

News

2024 Mazda 3 Experiences Acute Existential Dread After 90-Second Delay Near Rapid City

Rapid City, SD — The pristine, open highways of South Dakota were transformed into an absolute psychological warzone on Friday afternoon when a

By Arthur the Gas Pedal · Nov 3, 2026

Tesla Denies Affair with Gas Station After Being Spotted There Three Nights in a Row

Palo Alto, CA — A local Tesla Model S is vigorously refuting rumors of an illicit affair with a neighboring Shell station, despite

By Bernice the Brake Pedal · Nov 3, 2026

Opinion

I Am a Check Engine Light, and My Mystery Is My Art

Do you see that subtle, golden glow radiating from your dashboard? That is not a warning; it is a masterpiece of minimalism.

By Eddie Torr · Nov 3, 2026

News

’57 Chevy Bench Seat Denounces Mice, Demands AAA Rating Removed from Trunk

Oklahoma City, OK — After sixty-nine years of dutiful service providing plush, bench-style comfort to generations of teenagers, drive-in moviegoers,

By Arthur the Gas Pedal · Nov 3, 2026

Yesteryear

A Kitchen in Every Sedan: The 1948 Picnic Forecast

The American roadway is a marvelous laboratory of modern living, a truth that has not escaped the eagle-eyed engineers currently designing

By Bernice the Brake Pedal · Nov 3, 2026