Knoxville, TN — Draped in a blinding coat of Go Mango metallic orange that can be seen from low Earth orbit, a local 2019 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat has officially claimed National Tennessee Day as its own personal day of worship, using the occasion to aggressively rev its 707-horsepower supercharged engine at the rest of the Union.
The vehicle, which reportedly consumes premium gasoline at a rate faster than the state's rivers flow, spent early Monday morning parked across three spaces at a local gas station while asserting its absolute regional dominance over all other forty-nine states.
"Your State Colors Could Never"
According to eyewitnesses, the muscle car spent the first half of the day idling loudly outside a suburban coffee shop, making sure every passerby appreciated its unmistakable shade of Vol-nation orange.
"Look at Kansas. What do they have? Wheat brown? Tragic," the Hellcat’s owner, speaking on behalf of the vehicle’s supercharger whine, declared. "And don't get me started on Delaware. Delaware looks like a defaulted fleet vehicle. Tennessee gave the world hot chicken, country music, and 6.2 liters of raw, unrefined noise pollution wrapped in a color that makes construction cones look subtle."
The Hellcat reportedly spent thirty minutes idling next to a silver Toyota Camry from Ohio, emitting a low rumble that vibrated the Camry’s side mirrors until its owner agreed that Tennessee was, in fact, superior in every measurable metric.
Forty-Nine States Put on High Alert for Supercharger Whine
Reports indicate the metallic orange beast plans to celebrate the remainder of National Tennessee Day by cruising down Interstate 40 at speeds that test the structural integrity of local speed limits, while burning enough rubber to leave permanent marks across the state border.
Neighbors confirmed the vehicle has already scheduled its evening routine: parked in a driveway with the high beams on, shining bright orange glory directly into the windows of a visiting hybrid with New York license plates.
