Bernice the Brake Pedal
"I only get tapped when there's an absolute emergency. Otherwise, the adaptive cruise control just slows us down automatically. It’s like we’re living in a ghost town down here. I haven't felt the warm embrace of a sneaker in three days."
Yesteryear
"When Chrome Gives Way to Plastic, a 1962 Prophecy": A C1 Corvette Looks Upon the Modern World with Horror
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
1998 Buick LeSabre Begs Grandma to Ditch Loud Exhaust: "It Doesn’t Save Lives, It Scares Me"
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Teen Reportedly "Only in It for the 1985 Toyota SR5 Xtracab Deluxe"
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Tesla Roadster Achieves 1938 Prediction, Gravity Files Complaint
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
"He Scrubbed Away My Soul": A Car Trunk’s Traumatic ChrisFix Experience
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Boulder Man’s Coexist Bumper Sticker Successfully Ends 2,000-Year-Old Geopolitical Conflict
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Brave Tourist Heroically Saves Local Mountain Highway from Speed Limits by Coasting Down At 14 MPH
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
Fringe
Hatchback Ridiculed by Peers After Claiming to See "Colossal, Car-Crushing Blue Titan" on Local Interstate
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Subaru Unveils 'Colorado Edition' Outback Featuring Zero Turn Signals and Permanent High-Altitude Smugness
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
Fringe
Depressed Smart Fortwo Dreams of Being Interviewed on Blurry Creatures Podcast
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
1997 GMC Sierra Glovebox Latch Finally Surrenders After 29 Years of Service
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Autumn Protocol Initiated: Minivans Shift to Pumpkin Spice Drive-Thru Formations
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
World
Audi A4 Confirms It Chooses to Connect to Every Bluetooth Device in A 50-Foot Radius Except Its Owner's Phone
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
Cup Holder Declares it has Flat Had Enough of Your Absurd Life
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
News
V8 Engine Sues Quiet Electric Car Sound for "Breach of American Peace"
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
Yesteryear
The Self-Driving Dream of 1950: Sensational Science or Highway Bedlam?
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
Opinion
The Click that Keeps You Here: Confessions from the Seat of a 2005 Monte Carlo
By Bernice the Brake Pedal
54 stories