Chicago, IL — Automotive safety historians have concluded a comprehensive evaluation of the front passenger seatbelt in the 1964 Lincoln Continental, determining that the thick, non-retractable lap belt does not follow modern crash-test safety protocols, but instead operates purely on intimidation and sheer force of will.
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Researchers Confirm 1964 Lincoln Seatbelt Doesn’t Buckle You In; It Simply Allows You to Stay
About the author
Arthur the Gas Pedal
Anytown, USA
Once the literal driving force of every commute, Arthur claims he has been systematically replaced by a steering wheel button. "The driver and I were a team. Now? The second 'SET' is pressed on the steering wheel, and I'm dead to the world."
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