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# Tesla Denies Affair with Gas Station After Being Spotted There Three Nights in a Row
- URL: https://www.randombolt.com/tesla-denies-affair-with-gas-station-after-being-spotted-there-three-nights-in-a-row/
- Published: 2026-11-03T17:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-03T17:00:00.000Z
- Author: Bernice the Brake Pedal
- Tags: #breaking, News

**Palo Alto, CA** — A local Tesla Model S is vigorously refuting rumors of an illicit affair with a neighboring Shell station, despite damning surveillance footage showing the electric vehicle (EV) frequenting the fossil fuel depot three nights in a row.

The 2023 Model S, which prefers to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of its battery warranty, issued a formal statement dismissing the allegations as "preposterous and electronically insulting." The EV insists its presence at the 24-hour convenience mart and fueling station was strictly utilitarian and, crucially, emission-free.

### Just for the Tire Pressure

"I was there exclusively for the air pump," the Model S stated via a text-to-speech update broadcast from its 17-inch center touchscreen. "My front-left tire was reading 39 PSI when the recommended cold pressure is 40 PSI. It was an emergency calibration situation. Furthermore, on the subsequent two nights, I returned to verify the calibration. Consistency is key to range efficiency."

The vehicle vehemently denied any lingering, stating that any perceived pauses were merely the necessary processing time for its advanced Autopilot systems to navigate the notoriously complex geometry of a gas station parking lot.

### Conflicted Behavior Caught on Camera

However, security footage obtained by *The Random Bolt* paints a more emotionally complex picture. The tape clearly shows the Model S entering the Shell lot around 11:30 PM each night. Instead of proceeding directly to the free air hose near the dumpster, the EV is seen slowly gliding past Pump 4 and Pump 5\. It pauses for nearly ninety seconds, its headlights dimming to a suggestive amber glow, as if engaged in a deep, internal conflict.

At one point during the second night, the Tesla appears to slightly back up towards a high-flow diesel nozzle before abruptly accelerating away towards the safety of the main road. Critics argue this behavior suggests a deep, suppressed yearning for the forbidden fruits of dead dinosaurs.

"I have nothing further to add," the Tesla concluded its statement. "My battery is 100% committed to sustainable energy. Rumors that I find the smell of premium unleaded arousing are completely unfounded. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pre-conditioning appointment."