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# Depressed Smart Fortwo Dreams of Being Interviewed on Blurry Creatures Podcast
- URL: https://www.randombolt.com/depressed-smart-fortwo-dreams-of-being-interviewed-on-blurry-creatures-podcast/
- Published: 2026-10-14T18:30:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-14T18:29:59.000Z
- Author: Bernice the Brake Pedal
- Tags: Fringe, News

**Bend, OR** — Sitting beneath a flickering streetlamp in a suburban driveway, a 2019 Smart Fortwo spent the quiet hours of Tuesday morning running self-diagnostic routines and fantasizing about the day it finally gets invited onto a high-production cryptid podcast to tell its story.

The microcar, which boasts a modest 89 horsepower and a turning radius smaller than a trampoline, claims it saw "something unexplainable" while idling in a rural gravel turnout three years ago. Since then, it has spent every night drafting audio interview responses in its internal memory banks.

"I don't want to go on some local news station where they play funny slide-whistle sound effects over my story," the car’s central computer reported via a soft chime of the door-ajar alarm. "I need an open-minded, long-form podcast. Two hosts, dark studio, soundproof walls, and three full hours to unpack what my front radar sensors picked up in the fog."

### **The Pitch**

According to internal logs, the Smart Car has already drafted a query email to the producers of Blurry Creatures, a popular podcast dedicated to mysterious phenomena, ancient megastructures, and creature sightings.

The proposed episode outline includes:

- **00:00–15:00:** The car’s backstory as a humble city commuter that felt "called to the wilderness."
- **15:00–1:15:00:** A micro-second-by-micro-second breakdown of the night its proximity sensors beeped at a shadowy, 8-foot-tall silhouette near an abandoned barn.
- **1:15:00–2:30:00:** Deep-dive discussion on whether ancient cryptids prefer three-cylinder turbo engines or V8s.
- **2:30:00–End:** The hosts agreeing that the Smart Car is "100% legit" and selling commemorative dashboard stickers.

### **Overcoming Industry Stigma**

Despite its dedication, the subcompact vehicle admits that breaking into the cryptid podcast circuit as an automobile comes with unique hurdles.

"Most people expect eyewitnesses to be grizzled wilderness guides or night-shift truckers with giant rigs," the driver’s side mirror noted, adjusting slightly to catch the moonlight. "Nobody expects a car that fits in a motorcycle parking spot to have deep insights into the unknown. But my high beams see things human eyes miss. I have cold, unfeeling data."

### **Waiting for the Call**

The car's owner, who assumes the vehicle's occasional stereo glitches are just loose wiring, remains unaware that the Bluetooth system spends every commute attempting to auto-dial podcast submission hotlines.

As of press time, the Smart Fortwo was seen keeping its battery on low-power mode, conserving energy for the moment a producer finally calls to ask, "So, tell us about the night your backup camera caught something blurry."