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# 1922 - Visionaries Proudly Announce Ocean Highway Network to Solve Fish Congestion
- URL: https://www.randombolt.com/1922-visionaries-proudly-announce-ocean-highway-network-to-solve-fish-congestion/
- Published: 2026-10-07T14:14:56.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-07T14:14:56.000Z
- Author: Arthur the Gas Pedal
- Tags: Yesteryear, News

**Atlantic Ocean** — In a bold leap forward for suburban expansion, a newly uncovered design from 1922 has revealed humanity's earliest attempt to completely ruin the ocean floor with four-lane asphalt, bumper-to-bumper traffic, and a drive-thru toll booth every twelve nautical miles.

### **The Submarine Commute**

The ambitious draft, titled "Highways Under the Sea," envisioned a world where middle-management executives could skip the mundane morning train ride and instead spend two and a half hours sitting idle in a reinforced glass tube 400 feet below sea level.

"Why limit urban sprawl to boring, dry land?" asked chief visionary and lead draftsman Archibald Sterling in his original proposal notes. "By paving over the Atlantic basin, we can ensure that every worker enjoys the serene majesty of marine life while boiling over with unbridled road rage at a Model-T going 15 miles per hour in the passing lane."

### **Engineering the Impossible to Solve Nothing**

According to the 1922 blueprints, the underwater highway system was designed to feature state-of-the-art infrastructure, including aquatic gas stations every fifty miles, deep-sea billboards advertising mustache wax, and specialized highway patrol subs stationed behind coral reefs to catch speeding sunfish.

"The brilliant part of the design is the safety protocol," noted modern infrastructure historian Dr. Aris Thorne. "If a tire blows out at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the driver simply pulls onto the narrow, gravel shoulder and waits for a tow truck equipped with a bathysphere and an immense sense of regret."

### **A Paradise for Marine Toll Collectors**

While environmentalists of the era expressed mild concern about laying hot tar across vital whale migration routes, planners quickly dismissed the feedback, pointing out that dolphins would eventually adjust to dodging oncoming traffic.

"The real tragedy is that we never built it," Sterling wrote in his closing remarks. "Imagine the sheer majesty of a Friday afternoon rush-hour gridlock stretching from Long Island to Dublin, with thousands of commuters united in their mutual hatred of a single tailgating octopus."